Is life coaching just a gimmick?
28 April 2010
British people don’t ‘do’ counselling and they don’t talk about their problems, right? So why on earth would they need coaching? Talking to a stranger about your life – well, it’s all just a bit weird, isn’t it?
Coaching is certainly better accepted in the States, where people are a bit more prepared to give things a go before deciding if it’s for them… In the UK, people aren’t quite so prepared to take a risk. I’m from New Zealand and, believe me, we’re exactly the same! There are real benefits for those who are prepared to ‘risk’ a chat about coaching though – which is why I offer a free 15-minute consultation, with absolutely no obligation if you feel it isn’t for you – honest!
A qualified, professional coach will motivate you, focus you and help you move forward in your life… It isn’t counselling (which looks backward, while coaching looks forward) and it isn’t something your best friend or mum can do for you – a coach is objective, with no opinion on what is ‘right’ for you other than what you decide for yourself, and they are trained to know how to help you figure that out.
So if you’ve ever said to yourself ‘I’m not happy at work, I need to change my job’ or ‘I wish I had a bit more confidence’ or ‘I wish I had handled that a bit better’, coaching really will help. So go on, be brave, take the risk – get in touch for a chat and find out yourself how coaching will help you!
If you’d like a no-obligation, free 15-minute chat to understand a bit more about how coaching works and how it can help you, then email me now at carole@caroleraycoaching.com
How to find the man/woman of your dreams
7 April 2010
A question a lot of my clients ask is ‘How do I find the man/woman of my dreams?’ It’s an understandable question – it’s hard finding a happy, healthy relationship in an increasingly disconnected and time-poor world.
Well, there are lots of ways to meet the love of your life… And there is lots of help for you too…
There have been thousands of books written to help you find what and who you want – two I’d recommend are If I’m so wonderful, why am I still single? and The single trap. Any life coach (myself included!) can help you understand what you need from a relationship and how to go about achieving that, but there are also coaches who specialise in relationships specifically – one getting a lot of publicity recently is Matthew Hussey, whose Get the Guy website and seminars help women through the minefield of dating.
And then there are the tried and tested methods to meet people – joining an evening class, asking your friends to introduce you to their other single friends, getting a new hobby… And of course, the truly modern form of dating – internet dating sites. I’m always surprised by the resistance many of my clients still feel towards internet dating, afraid they’ll be judged as sad losers or scammed by married men. The fact is, internet dating has been around a while and it’s here to stay – there’s a whole generation of people out there who simply see it as just another tool to help people connect – there really is no judgement made about it any more… And yes, it may introduce another set of problems (as, in our increasingly fast-paced world, people may not take the time needed to read profiles properly and build up connections) but it really is a great way to meet a much wider group of people and to then filter the ones you might be interested in.
With clients who are resistant to joining an internet dating site, I encourage them to:
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Do some research – just go online and explore a few sites to see what they’re about – once you’re familiar with them, they will be a lot less scary! You’ll see that a huge range of people use them… and who knows, you might even spot someone you like the look of!
Write a yourself profile – but take your time over it – go back to it every couple of days until you feel comfortable with it and have selected a few photos you like – and then think about posting it on a dating site
Be curious – approach internet dating as a way to meet new and interesting people, not necessarily to meet the person of your dreams (or at least not right away!) That way it takes the pressure off if the chemistry isn’t there when you meet for a coffee – at least you’ve met an interesting person and had a nice time, which is never a bad thing!
Of course, as much as you need to get yourself out there, I think one of the best things you can do in your search for true love is to enjoy yourself! Be curious and passionate about life and you’ll not only attract a great relationship, but also attract great friends and have a great life along the way!
If you’d like some help finding a great relationship, or if you’d like to inject some more curiosity and passion into your life, email me now at carole@caroleraycoaching.com for a no-obligation, free 15-minute chat about how I can help you
