Do you make New Year’s resolutions?
30 December 2011
Do you make New Year’s resolutions? Personally I don’t, because I tend to ‘check in’ with myself quite often to refocus on what’s really important to me so I don’t really feel the need to make resolutions once a year… I do, however, use New Year’s to think about changes I want to make in the coming year, which I guess is pretty similar to the people who like to make New Year resolutions.
Some people think resolutions are a waste of time – they’re all broken by the end of January, right? I read an interesting article by the philosopher Alain de Botton recently, written for the School of Life, which made the point that we need to challenge ourselves to be better – and it’s the challenge that’s important, as even a half-successful resolution is better than not even trying!
If you do make New Year’s resolutions, here are a couple of tips:
1. Be specific: Resolving to gossip less at work and be nicer to Aunty Mary will be more effective than just wanting to be nicer.
2. Be realistic: Resolving to lose 1 stone by the end of August is much more achievable than 1 stone in 1 month or 3 stone by the end of August. Your resolution needs to be challenging but achievable.
3. Get help: There will be times when you slip, so get a good friend to help keep you on track – give your credit card to a friend if you want to save money, for example, so you have to ask permission every time you want to use it. And of course, a life coach is the perfect motivator – that’s what we do, help people achieve their goals!
If you’re making New Year’s resolutions or if you just have something in your life you want to sort out in 2012, then life coaching can help… And even better, I’m starting 2012 off with a sale – 50% off your first three sessions. So what’s stopping you? Email me now at carole@caroleraycoaching.com
Appreciate your achievements
15 September 2011
It’s been a while since I posted, mostly because I’ve been concentrating on working as a freelance writer and editor – when I took redundancy from the children’s charity in June 2010, I gave myself a year to try being freelance, to see how I liked it and whether I could make a living at it. Now that a year has gone by, amazing as it’s been (and occasionally stressful!), I’ve been trying to decide if I’m going to keep plugging away as a freelancer or look for permanent work…
Finding myself caught up in the maelstrom of comparisons that happen when you’re trying to make a big decision (money vs free time, independence vs security), I started to think about all the other things I’ve done with my year… Yes, there’s been work, there’s been money, there’ve been times of no work and no money – but I couldn’t believe all the other things I’d achieved!
I’d said when I left the charity that I wanted to work for a lawyer and a bank, to experience a different world – I haven’t worked for a lawyer yet but the bank has a big tick next to it – goal achieved! I wanted to work at festivals, doing something I loved but often couldn’t fit into my 9 to 5 working life – goal achieved! I’ve worked this summer and last at festivals all around the UK, doing a variety of things from building geodesic domes to manning ball pools to working with a welfare team. In achieving that goal, I even achieved another – I now know how to put up scaffolding! I wanted to go back to NZ for a few months for my great grandmother’s 109th birthday – goal achieved! I even managed to do work for my UK clients while I was there – working holiday goal achieved!
It’s easy to see our decisions as black and white, revolving about sensible options and money and security, and in these recession-filled days, maybe that’s not a bad thing… But there’s more to our lives than work and pensions and payslips – and it’s usually the other goals we have that give our lives richness and meaning, that build our confidence and self-esteem… Working towards your goals, whatever they are, big or small, random (think of my scaffolding aspirations!) or strategic, is crucially important, and should never be lost beneath the murk of day-to-day detail…
We all feel happier and stronger and more confident when we achieve – spending a bit of time thinking about what you’ve done (and therefore what you’d still like to do) might be just what you need to help you leave the maelstrom of comparisons behind when making a big decision. By thinking about the past, you can actually move forward.
If you’d like a free, no-obligation 15-minute chat to see how coaching can help you achieve, then email me now at carole@caroleraycoaching.com
Being made redundant
9 August 2010
Life twists and turns – some changes we can prepare for, some we can’t… One recent life twist for me was redundancy, something many people are experiencing in our credit-crunch times. The charity I worked at for the last eight years has moved out of London, something I didn’t want to do – hence I am now officially the one in the one in ten who are unemployed.
My experience of redundancy was, perhaps, a little different from many, as I ‘took’ redundancy rather than being ‘made’ redundant (ie my job still exists, it’s just not in a place I want to be!) but I was surprised at how stressful it still was, despite it being, kind of, my choice. And I was really surprised by how much it knocked my confidence… and how little others seemed to understand what I was going through.
But, of course, I’m a life coach, so I self-administered a strong dose of life coaching medicine. I worked out some short-term and long-term goals, some behaviours that were good for me and some that weren’t, strategies for dealing with both, and created a ‘to-do’ list… By breaking everything down into manageable, practical steps, life seems a hell of a lot less scary!
I’ve given myself some time to enjoy some of my favourite things that working 9 to 5 can sometimes intrude upon, like festivals and films and friends… I’ve got my ‘finding a new job’ to-do list that I go through every day… And I’m looking at the opportunities my situation creates, rather than focusing on the stressful, terrifying negatives – like time to build up my life coaching practice, taking courses at discounted rates for the unemployed, time to volunteer or do favours for friends, time to think, time to walk slowly… I’m even learning to hula hoop!
Whether I get a new job next week, next month or next year, I’m feeling positive and optimistic and confident – because my life coaching skills have helped me work out what I can do and what I have no control over, and how to keep myself happy and positive during a stressful and challenging time of change.
If you’ve been made redundant and would like a free, no-obligation 15-minute chat to understand how coaching can help you, then email me now at carole@caroleraycoaching.com
